~My bundle of Duas~



During her early months, Nuunu didn't like anyone sleeping besides her ,though she loves us to be around her while she is awake to play with us.
She abandoned us while she sleeps as if she is taking revenge on this world who abandoned her while is just a cute guest into this world.



We respected that lil one's personal space and gave her time to come to the feeling that 'you my lil pious soul , you are the most wanted love of our life than anything in this Duniya' and she caught our message with in a few weeks through our body language alhamdhullilah. Now she needs us to be besides her while she sleeps and at times while she wakes up ...

Alhamndhullilah. ALLAH is merciful on her and us...

Nuunu-my bundle of Duas-now happily grabs my hand while she sleeps to feel what she missed in her early days on this earth...


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Heart is hurt

Heart is hurt
But you don't know it's cut
What a fate...
That we are miles apart ...

Sleep is the best remedy
So that I forget the agony ...
Nothing can reduce my
Pains like a cacophony ...




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Whenever the cute little face
Smiles at me
My heart aches and breaks...
This little soul doesn't know
That she was not welcomed at her parents side ..
May be due to helplessness or selfishness
Whatever; the reality is
She - an orphan !

This little soul
Who sleeps besides me
Doesn't know what she underwent
In a few months life
On this vicious world ...

Yet she smiles with her wide open eyes ...
Thinking we are hers
And yes we became hers
As she became ours...

Those denied Breastmilk
Those warmth of the skin
I can't assure you my lovely soul ...
But my Breast is full of love
That I thank your parents
And I pray that we get United in paradise to live happily ever after...




-
( An adoptive mom's journey journal )

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Location:My little soul

The Big Day of my life

Days flown
Years floated
Yet I feel afresh
As if we became one
And that great day happened
Just yesterday !!!



It's because of your love
It's because of care
It's because of your encouragement
It's because of your understanding



No one could understand me
Better than you
As you are chosen by Lord
To handle me with care.



I know life is not often
A bed of red roses
But the prick of thorns
Only adds to the red colored petals...
It only brightens the red red roses...



I know we faced storms and quakes
And we will continue to stand side by side
To defeat those evil powers -
To prove the world
True love can't be destroyed

It's the shield we wear
It's the life jacket of the life boat
In which we sail
The turbulent sea...


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All is well that's ends for well...

In the battle of haqq and baathil;
In the fight of haraam and halaal;
In the verbal attack on positive and negative;
We are loosing our relation-
That was for His sake...

Indeed for no specific reason,
As we both are in the same lane
Traveling to the source of real light-
Yet you throw stones at me
And put thorns on my way...!

Now I see foresee the cursed one' strap;
And I hear his loud laugh echoed...
Falling prey to Saitan is easy...
But expelling him is just -
Through Allah's mercy...

We were in His blessed shade
Now we are dragged to the shade of false pride...!
As I believe Allah is peace
The turbulence we feel is not of that ease...

We are now out of topic -
And you are creating the topic...
By digging the past
And not forgetting the bygones...
But just brooding on it...

By observing on me
My steps, my actions, my words
My heart and my hurts...
All are scanned and micros-coped !
Taking everything as personal..

Making my thoughts and scribblings
Which were like free birds...
Jailed and restricted !
Making me insane ..
We becoming so impersonal!

A relation which we began for His sake
Is now for the playground of the cursed one's sake!
I don't want my feeling to get baked
Just biting the bait
You just throw randomly...!

As I fear Him, His wrath,
Let everything ends here,
For the good of us...
It's high time for me to go back
To the shell of silence ...

As that was me years ago
Where I caged myself seasons back...
Indeed love for His sake cannot be hurting
And nothing will "MISS"
If in there is true "Understanding "!

As you always try to UP stand on me
Rather than UNDER stand about me,
Thinking that your feelings are true
And mine is just nothing a new ...
Alas how sad it is now ...

Everything is now a mess-
As observations and suspicions
Are indeed Devil's plot
Sadly to which you became a prey...
But here I pray...

Deep from my heart..
Even though I'm deeply hurt...
I still seek His mercy on both of us...
And hence cementing my boundaries...
Making it strong and high...

So that no one must
Dare to break that cell,
Even if it's for Duniya or Aakhira...
Here ends the friendship which was for His sake...
Indeed the ending is too for His sake ...

As good and sin
Cannot reside together
So is me and you...
Indeed where Allah is merciful ;
Saitan , the cursed one is thrown out...

Remember we are kicking Saitan out
And not ourselves out
Just to be on track
Without any of his trap
Let us be careful now , to meet in Jannah...!


To a cancerous friend


You keep connected;
When you feel content!
And get disconnected;
When you are discontent !

We're not Chameleons
May be we have to become that once !
To meet your emotion;
And to fit to society & to fun!

We hate the way you behave,
One day you come and wave,
And shower the happiness -
Saying as a friend,to cheer us!

Another day,you go back
Snatching all the smiles stock,
Behaving as a total stranger -
Who plants the seeds of gloom and anger!

Then we decide to shun you
Medicating the hurts -a few,
So as to start a new!
As we start,there comes you!

Pointing finger;saying we're cruel
That you are hurt and will howl!
Those garbages;you takeout all,
Again spread the foul smell!

When we clean misconceptions
While dumbing the bygones!
You again behaves,Oh
As if like a stranger foe!

Then loudly laugh,that's killing,
Saying you were joking,
And was thinking positive-
Though you said in negative !

When we get agitated-
As we can't understand,
Nor to read and we really can't,
Because you make us puzzled!

As to us,you're unknown-
Feeling the dual personality-
Then you behave upside down
Proving multiple personality!

We still can't learn you
Nor we feel trust in you
As we are confused
And we don't want to be abused!

To shun you or to keep you
That's our question !
To which we're seeking an answer
Day-Night, that's like a Cancer!

That's not a lie

Why to live
In the fear of death?
If you are born
Then you have to die!
Then to resurrect
To get your rewards...
That's not a lie!
Live in good
And make peace
That's the least
You can do
Which is indeed the best
That everyone forgets...



From my hurting heart

Oh, my dearest friend...
It's not my hate to you that
I behaved liked that
It's my hate towards me that
I expressed like tit for tat...
You deserve much better a partner than me
And that thought made me do all that!
When devil possess I have no control
It's not my heart that tongue speaks...
If my tongue speaks what my heart feels like...
Then you will realize how hurt I swallow myself !
For all those moments when I misuse
My tongue as a sword!
It's not me that I speak as
My heart warns me
It's aching due to the weight it's giving !
I hate myself not you;
I know my blessings!
Yet I count my tears...
Tears which sheds nothing...
But love of the peace
That leads to paradise...



To a Cancerous friend

You keep connected;
When you feel content!
And get disconnected;
When you are discontent !

We're not a Chamelon
May be we have to become one !
To meet your emotion;
And to fit to society & to fun!

We hate the way you behave,
One day you come and wave,
And shower the happiness -
Saying as a friend,to cheer us!

Another day,you go back
Snatching all the smiles stock,
Behaving as a total stranger -
Who plants the seeds of gloom and anger!

Then we decide to shun you
Medicating the hurts -a few,
So as to start a new!
As we start,there comes you!

Pointing finger;saying we're cruel
That you are hurt and will howl!
Those garbages;you takeout all,
Again spread the foul smell!

When we clean misconceptions
While dumbing the bygones!
You again behaves,Oh
As if like a stranger foe!

Then loudly laugh,that's killing,
Saying you were joking,
And was thinking positive-
Though you said in negative !

When we get agitated-
As we can't understand,
Nor to read and we really can't,
Because you make us puzzled!

As to us,you're unknown-
Feeling the dual personality-
Then you behave upside down
Proving multiple personality!

We still can't learn you
Nor we feel trust in you
As we are confused
And we don't want to be abused!

To shun you or to keep you
That's our question !
To which we're seeking an answer
Day-Night, that's like a Cancer!



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