From my hurting heart

Oh, my dearest friend...
It's not my hate to you that
I behaved liked that
It's my hate towards me that
I expressed like tit for tat...
You deserve much better a partner than me
And that thought made me do all that!
When devil possess I have no control
It's not my heart that tongue speaks...
If my tongue speaks what my heart feels like...
Then you will realize how hurt I swallow myself !
For all those moments when I misuse
My tongue as a sword!
It's not me that I speak as
My heart warns me
It's aching due to the weight it's giving !
I hate myself not you;
I know my blessings!
Yet I count my tears...
Tears which sheds nothing...
But love of the peace
That leads to paradise...